Shattered, heartbroken, torn apart, crushed.
I've felt this way before. I'm sure the reader has too.
It may be hard to acknowledge, but that's just the way it is, there's no hiding it and nowhere to run. It's normal, as normal as joy, happiness, enthusiasm or passion.
On the one hand there's frustration, sadness or anger, on the other happiness.
These states of mind are not contradictory, it's just that we've been trained to believe that they are. On the contrary, they are all part of a continuum of emotions and feelings that characterises the human experience.
When I took this photo during my morning walk, I immediately asked myself:
Why do people constantly try to show the best of themselves, even when they feel heartbroken?
Why do they hide when they need help the most?
To answer these questions we have to travel to certain places and revisit the people who filled our childhood, including the school benches, where you learn to read, write and count, but you don't always learn to recognise or manage an emotion, nor do you learn to communicate properly with other human beings (although you do learn to respect animals).
It is during this time that everyone is educated for success, fulfilment and happiness. It's also during this magical period in life when all stories end well, that you receive the training that tries to turn everyone into happiness experts, leading them to believe that when they feel sad or unhappy, it means they are different, fragile or unresolvable.
That's why they hide when they need help the most. Nobody likes to feel inferior or believe that they are different because they haven't been able to sort things out for themselves.
From this point on, the seeds of isolation and loneliness are planted and will soon grow. Saint-Exupéry reminded us of this when he wrote:
"People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges".
I'm a Psychotherapist, nor do I want to be an expert on happiness. I have felt frustrated, sad or unhappy many times. When that's the case, I don't hide, and I hope the reader doesn't either, because it is precisely at these times that unhappiness can prove to be a tool that drives your life forward.
To do this, you need to be willing to reach out, ask for help when necessary, be open to change and have the ability to recognise that asking for help is above all an instrument of power, which makes us stronger and better able to face the difficulties that stand in our way. The beauty of unhappiness is not in feeling unhappy, but in turning unhappiness into an instrument of power over our lives
Wishing you all a nice week.
How timely. Recently I was startled by the intensity of my reaction to an event others would likely find of small consequence. I was heartbroken. A bit of unraveling of disorder needed first to be accomplished till I could sit with it and admire the gift.
Admiring your fitting photo illustration.
Over my challenging life I have built a menagerie of compartments to isolate bad feelings or experiences. The avoidance may not be the most psychologically healthy thing to do if works.